Purple prose and bad opening sentences!!
Jul. 4th, 2009 05:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dreamflowerInspired by the The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, which for those of you are unfamiliar with it, is a contest to write the world's worst opening sentence for a story, our LOTR_Community_GFIC on Yahoo! has been having an impromptu challenge for us to do the same with an LotR fic. I have to say that ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
grey_wonderer and rakshathedemon have outdone us all, so far!
Here is my little effort:
The gloomy night was Stygian in its blackness, the weather blustery and wet with occasional blasts of thunder and lightning, as the nine companions made their weary and exhausted way over the rough and rock strewn path: the wise and wary wizard, the tall and stern noble Ranger, the brave and proud warrior of men, the graceful and lissome Elf, the gruff but kind-hearted Dwarf, and the four halflings, Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took the smallest, who brought up the rear, behind the pony whose feet clopped slowly, like a caboose on a train if such a thing as a train was known in Middle-earth, which it might have been since the oldest hobbit's uncle had mentioned one once--slogging through the muck and mud, unaware of the danger that lay before them like a pit with sharpened spikes at the bottom, even though that was not what the danger was, when suddenly their way was blocked by an unexpected figure in a cloak, who shocked them when she threw back her hood to reveal her breathtakingly beautiful face framed by her dark hair whipping in the wind.
grey_wonderer and rakshathedemon have outdone us all, so far!Here is my little effort:
The gloomy night was Stygian in its blackness, the weather blustery and wet with occasional blasts of thunder and lightning, as the nine companions made their weary and exhausted way over the rough and rock strewn path: the wise and wary wizard, the tall and stern noble Ranger, the brave and proud warrior of men, the graceful and lissome Elf, the gruff but kind-hearted Dwarf, and the four halflings, Frodo Baggins, Samwise Gamgee, Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took the smallest, who brought up the rear, behind the pony whose feet clopped slowly, like a caboose on a train if such a thing as a train was known in Middle-earth, which it might have been since the oldest hobbit's uncle had mentioned one once--slogging through the muck and mud, unaware of the danger that lay before them like a pit with sharpened spikes at the bottom, even though that was not what the danger was, when suddenly their way was blocked by an unexpected figure in a cloak, who shocked them when she threw back her hood to reveal her breathtakingly beautiful face framed by her dark hair whipping in the wind.
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Date: 2009-07-04 11:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-05 12:51 am (UTC)ROFL!!!
This is hysterical!
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Date: 2009-07-05 02:01 am (UTC)And a Mary Sue to boot! :D (unless it's Arwen again, heeee!)
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Date: 2009-07-05 08:08 am (UTC)Love that you mentioned the train! As always, you stuck to the canon. hehehe
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Date: 2009-07-05 10:07 am (UTC)(Can you imagine asking someone to *diagram* that sentence?)
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Date: 2009-07-05 10:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-05 10:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-05 10:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-05 02:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-05 02:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-05 03:35 pm (UTC):O
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Date: 2009-07-05 04:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-05 06:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-05 08:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-05 08:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-05 08:49 pm (UTC)It was fun trying to see how long I could keep one sentence going though!
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Date: 2009-07-05 08:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-05 08:52 pm (UTC)