Home again
Mar. 10th, 2005 09:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dreamflowerWell, we made the drive to FL for the funeral yesterday. Up before the crack of dawn for the drive there.
It was worthwhile. In addition to being able to lend support to my two cousins that I am close to, I was also able to see some of my relatives that I have not seen in many years. At one point I felt like a hobbit. I'm introducing cousins to my husband--"This is J__'s daughter, G__, my first cousin once removed," and "This is E___, she's my Uncle N___'s daughter." And being introduced to connections whom I had never met, such as my cousin's cousins on her mother's side, or another cousin's step-children.
I saw three cousins with whom I had been very close as a child, but had not literally seen since just before I got married, almost 29 years ago. I did not even recognize the youngest at all, she had changed so much. She's a very attractive grown woman, and I remember her as a rather pudgy young child. It was embarassing to have to be prompted to remember some of them. And it was distressing to see some of my other cousins, who seem to have aged overnight--though it's been a few years, some of them looked *decades* older, and a few are in very poor health, only to be expected.
My poor DH, who suffers from a mild social phobia, was very much out of his depth. He actually has only two blood relatives living: his sister, and one uncle. That's it. He was amazed at the number of cousins and relatives there, and even more so when we started talking about the ones who *couldn't* make it.
The old school, which I attended from 5th through 8th grade, has been completely rebuilt, and is not even recognizable. Many of the landmarks I looked for were completely gone--yet others had not changed at all. It gave me a very "Twilight Zone" feeling.
I had forgotten all the little rural traditions that surround any major event such as a funeral or wedding; the pot luck luncheon; the food carried back to the homes of the bereaved; the way it is like a miniature re-union at a funeral. I found myself using phrases that I've not used in years, and addressing half the people there as "sug" (short for "sugar", LOL!) while they addressed me the same way.
Of course, it was also distressing to seen A__ and B___ so grieved at the loss of their sister, but she had had a long and painful illness, so the old cliche about being out of her suffering was certainly true.
There's been a *very* big downside to this trip though. First of all, the two of us were nearly sick with exhaustion by the time we got back home after 1AM, and it was all my DH could do to drag himself to work this morning. I'm feeling very bad myself, with an upset stomach, and my back is playing me up after nearly ten hours spent riding in the car. And it was expensive. The price of gas is ridiculous, and it's nearly ten cents a gallon more in FL than it is in MS. The upshot is that this little trip may have cost me my chance to go to Gulf Wars next week, which is a MAJOR bummer.
Anyway, I'm back now, and will probably spend today catching up on my flist, writing fic, maybe working on some crafts, and doing laundry (the only chore that is relatively easy--the washer and dryer do most of the work) I'm not even going to attempt any housework until tomorrow. I need a break.
It was worthwhile. In addition to being able to lend support to my two cousins that I am close to, I was also able to see some of my relatives that I have not seen in many years. At one point I felt like a hobbit. I'm introducing cousins to my husband--"This is J__'s daughter, G__, my first cousin once removed," and "This is E___, she's my Uncle N___'s daughter." And being introduced to connections whom I had never met, such as my cousin's cousins on her mother's side, or another cousin's step-children.
I saw three cousins with whom I had been very close as a child, but had not literally seen since just before I got married, almost 29 years ago. I did not even recognize the youngest at all, she had changed so much. She's a very attractive grown woman, and I remember her as a rather pudgy young child. It was embarassing to have to be prompted to remember some of them. And it was distressing to see some of my other cousins, who seem to have aged overnight--though it's been a few years, some of them looked *decades* older, and a few are in very poor health, only to be expected.
My poor DH, who suffers from a mild social phobia, was very much out of his depth. He actually has only two blood relatives living: his sister, and one uncle. That's it. He was amazed at the number of cousins and relatives there, and even more so when we started talking about the ones who *couldn't* make it.
The old school, which I attended from 5th through 8th grade, has been completely rebuilt, and is not even recognizable. Many of the landmarks I looked for were completely gone--yet others had not changed at all. It gave me a very "Twilight Zone" feeling.
I had forgotten all the little rural traditions that surround any major event such as a funeral or wedding; the pot luck luncheon; the food carried back to the homes of the bereaved; the way it is like a miniature re-union at a funeral. I found myself using phrases that I've not used in years, and addressing half the people there as "sug" (short for "sugar", LOL!) while they addressed me the same way.
Of course, it was also distressing to seen A__ and B___ so grieved at the loss of their sister, but she had had a long and painful illness, so the old cliche about being out of her suffering was certainly true.
There's been a *very* big downside to this trip though. First of all, the two of us were nearly sick with exhaustion by the time we got back home after 1AM, and it was all my DH could do to drag himself to work this morning. I'm feeling very bad myself, with an upset stomach, and my back is playing me up after nearly ten hours spent riding in the car. And it was expensive. The price of gas is ridiculous, and it's nearly ten cents a gallon more in FL than it is in MS. The upshot is that this little trip may have cost me my chance to go to Gulf Wars next week, which is a MAJOR bummer.
Anyway, I'm back now, and will probably spend today catching up on my flist, writing fic, maybe working on some crafts, and doing laundry (the only chore that is relatively easy--the washer and dryer do most of the work) I'm not even going to attempt any housework until tomorrow. I need a break.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-03-09 04:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-10 09:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-09 04:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-10 09:45 am (UTC)Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-09 04:52 pm (UTC)I swear I am related to half the south - and through such twisted routes of relation! My mother knows the connections far better than I do, and she is always telling me about this or that second or third cousin (once or twice removed) and my poor father (whose family is from the north and knows none of their extended family!) reacts much the way your DH seems to!
Your post makes me feel very homesick, actually. I didn't grow up in MS, but I spent every summer till I was nearly 15 there with my Mamaw in Crystal Springs. She is gone now, and so is my most tangible link to the very extended family that still lives in the region. It's as if my passport to that part of my family has been revolked. I can and do live without contact with them, but I miss the area and that strange feeling of recognizing that that is where my roots came from and some part are still buried there. While I have visited many parts of the world, and lived in the northeast most of my life, I've never felt way about any other place. It's 'where the old folks at home' are... Does that make any sense?
Anyway, thank you for sharing that with me and I hope you will be recovered from the stressful trip soon. As you get older, it gets harder and harder to push yourself that way. The body's protests get more 'eloquent'. Ahem...
no subject
Date: 2005-03-09 06:11 pm (UTC)I don't know if it is a Southern thing or a rural thing, or a combination, but family ties do seem much more intricate down here; it *is* very hobbity, though, LOL!
Yep, the old bod is feeling its years today.
But the worst is going to be missing out on Gulf Wars.
Although I can still hope. There are a few days left to figure something out.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-09 07:59 pm (UTC)I`m sorry to hear it was so exhausting, but I`m glad you had a good trip anyway. Relax, take a warm bath and have a nice day!
no subject
Date: 2005-03-10 09:44 am (UTC)I had a quiet day, anyhow, and got a lot of reading and writing done.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-09 09:52 pm (UTC)Though, if wherever you were in FL was anything like Tampa has been this week, the weather must have made for a rather depressing mood. :P
no subject
Date: 2005-03-10 09:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-10 01:49 am (UTC)Take it easy today and rest up. 10 hours in a car is exhausting enough, not to mention everything else. Bummer about Gulf Wars. Evil gas prices, grrr.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-10 09:40 am (UTC)I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I may still be able to get in a few days.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-10 04:45 am (UTC)It does sound like you did some catching up with the family and it did sound very hobbit-like.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-10 09:43 am (UTC)And it goes up and down like a yo-yo, which is irritating. You fill up, and go past the gas station later in the day, and the price has dropped 5 cents a gallon. Or you go by, and think, well, I'll fill up on the way home, and by the time you start back, it has raised 8 cents a gallon. Can't win for losing.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-10 07:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-10 09:43 am (UTC)(((hugs back)))
no subject
Date: 2005-03-11 12:21 pm (UTC)I can surely relate to this. I always find it hard to go back to the village I grew up in. The last time more landmarks were gone and you feel so out of it..
10 hours drive... my goodness. Take a break, spoil yourself, you deserve it!
{{{hugs}}}