Sad

[dreamflower]

I am awake because I can't stop thinking about our house where we used to live. Why? The DH was doing a bit of 'net surfing last night and found a real estate listing for it-- it's in foreclosure.

The listing is here.

I don't know what's more depressing-- seeing the parts that are still the same (like the faux-finish paint job I did in the master bedroom) or seeing the parts they've more or less destroyed (like the kitchen, which had only been remodeled a few years prior to the sale).

We lived there for 30 years, and so tonight I'm remembering all the blood, sweat and tears we'd put into making that house a home, and what it had been like before Katrina, and how we'd restored things afterwards. It was in GOOD shape when we sold it. *sigh*

I like our little house here, but we've only been here a few years. And I wonder if it's worth trying to make this one nice when someday someone else will come along and not appreciate it like we do...

Comments

[claudia603.livejournal.com]

*hugs you tightly*

I do so understand what it's like to look back on an era that came before a traumatic thing and feel so sad about it.

[shirebound]

That house was truly a home. I know you're feeling sad that it hasn't been loved in the way you would have hoped.

*tight hugs for you and your husband*

[addie71.livejournal.com]

It's hard to let go of a house that's so full of memories. *hugs*

[surgicalsteel.livejournal.com]

I'd say if it makes you happy to get the house looking nice, do it - and if the next owner doesn't appreciate the effort, that's on them.

[cairistiona7.livejournal.com]

*hugs* It's hard to see a beloved home fall to neglect or circumstance. My childhood home was destroyed in a flood and it still gives me a pang to drive by the empty lot.

As to your "is it worth it?" question: the way I see it, you live in your house for a time, then pass it along to someone else who will hopefully at the very least maintain it well. But even then, they'll change the colors, decor, etc, just as we do when we move into a formerly owned home. So there's a certain amount of "letting go" that you have to be willing to do when you sell a house even in the best of circumstances, notwithstanding the worry of "what if the new owner trashes it". Those considerations, however, shouldn't stop you from making your current home into a beautiful nest during the time you have in it. So, unless you want to live in a hovel, of course it's worth it to make it nice, for *your* pleasure. Worrying about a future irresponsible owner who may not ever appear will only rob you of your joy in your home right now.

But yes, it's hard to look back on a beloved house and see it so neglected. Sadly, that's the situation with a lot of homes these days that have gone into foreclosure.

*more hugs*

[the-mad-hobbit.livejournal.com]

*big hugs

Gosh! I wish I had known you had gone through all this. I would have come to you for advice since we are going through so much the same thing. I guess it DOES weigh on your heart to see your house! 30 years is a LONG time to spend in a house, a life's investment, in a way.

I SO KNOW where you're coming from and what you are feeling! What I am clinging to right now is that the house really is just a thing. it comes and goes. If you still have those you love, family and friends, the rest is ashes and a fleeting wind.

Hugs,
Rach

[ellynn-ithilwen.livejournal.com]

I would only like to repeat what Cairistiona said - it is worth trying, because it is your home now and you should feel good in it. ;)
*big hug*

[meneleth.livejournal.com]

It's hard to realize that the house you sold is no longer the same. However, if you plan to stay in your current house, you *should* make it the way you want it. It's *your* home right now and unless you plan to move in a year or two, it should be comfortable for *you*. I've little doubt that whoever buys our house (way, way in the future) will paint over our carefully chosen colors but I don't care. This is our home now and we are making it the way we want it to be. Someone else may hate the lilac, turquoise and gold in my bedroom but I smile every time I walk in or wake up in it. That's what matters.

[lbilover.livejournal.com]

The house I grew up in was torn down and a McMansion put up in its place. I never really have gotten over that. It was such a beautiful home, and my parents had built it. So I kind of understand how you feel- that sense of loss and nostalgia. *big hugs*

[gamgeefest.livejournal.com]

You make the house nice for you - not for whoever might live there afterward, just as whoever you bought it from had made it nice for them. ((hugs))

[rhyselle.livejournal.com]

Hugs! I had that kind of feeling the last time I drove past my deceased Mom's house. When she died, there was no way that my husband and I could afford to take over her mortgage in a house that was an entire state away from where we worked and lived. So we sold it to the family who had been working on a loan to buy it from my Mom, who was looking to downsize into an apartment or smaller house before she unexpectedly died from a heart attack.

The house looks the same, and they've been taking excellent care of it, but the incredibly beautiful gardens of iris, roses, and carefully selected perennials that my Mom spent the last seven years of her life planting are gone. All that's there now is 2 acres of plain mowed grass. *sigh*

If I'd known that they were going to dig up the hundreds of iris corms and tear out the rose bushes, I'd have gone ahead and dug them up myself to transplant to my own yard. I haven't driven by the place since.

I console myself that I have the memories of the beauty, and I have the photos of the garden that my Mom shared with me.

I do think that it is always worth the effort to make one's home a place where you can be happy, regardless of what future owners might do to it. If having a purple wall in the living room makes you happy to see it, paint it. If making your bedroom look like it belongs in Imladris brings you joy to sleep there, go for it. :)

[aspenjules.livejournal.com]

I like to believe that in a way, we leave an imprint of ourselves on/in the houses we live in. You lived in that house for 30 years, loved each other in that house, loved the house, loved your children all within those walls. That kind of love for that long sinks into the bones of a house and is much more permanent than superficial and cosmetic changes or neglect. Houses change hands and each new owner changes it's look some, but the imprint you made on the house is and will be much more lasting.

(Or could it be that I've read Anne of Green Gables a few too many times?)

[mews1945.livejournal.com]

Oh, sweetie. *hugs*

[lindahoyland.livejournal.com]

Hugs.

[mrowe.livejournal.com]

That's not pleasant to see, but I agree with everyone else (*g*) - you're the one who lives in your new place, and any changes you make to it are for yourselves, not any future inhabitants.

[lily-the-hobbit.livejournal.com]

*hugs*
It's difficult to leave a place that has been your home for so long. However, I am sure you and your husband will eventually have the same feelings towards your current home. It's the people who make a place home, not the place.

[ansostuff.livejournal.com]

*big hugs*

That must have been very unsettling to see.